Am I Guilty?

Cafe Ribbit a web based artist cafe asked five Christians two questions regarding guilt and judgment. I’m including myself as the sixth Christian and will answer these questions with photographs.

1. When you feel guilt, do you have trouble knowing if Jesus is judging you or if you are judging yourself?

2. At the moment, what do you think Jesus would say is strengthening your relationship with him and what is weakening it?

I grew up as a Christian and a Baptist. Though in my teenage years I stopped going to church. For the longest time I believed that I didn’t have to. I live with my family now and they are very centered in the Baptist faith. I feel a spiritual guilt living inside and outside of that faith.

When I feel this guilt I feel a combination of the two. I often feel an unwillingness to move my ego or my life aside for faith. During those moments I feel like I am judging myself and maybe Jesus is judging me too. As an artist I think I focus on the negative aspects of God and only see religion or religious figures like Jesus as a final judge. This complicates my relationship with Christianity. Spiritually I am conflicted about Christianity’s place in my life right now.

At the moment I think Jesus would say what is strengthening my relationship with him is being open about my complexes I have about Christianity. I think for right now just being able to express my reservations my doubts and fears about religion is a strength. I think Jesus would say what weakens my relationship is being hesitant to be this outspoken with my family about my wavering faith. But I’m talking about it online so here’s to that!

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